As long as we’re talking about this, allow me to note that, in the just universe where pregnant women can get sponsorship deals, a la professional musicians and athletes, the Bloomling* is brought to you by Hans’ All-Natural Cheddar and Port Wine Spread.

Hans’: You can eat it on pretzels. Or wheat crackers. Or bread. Or right off a butter knife at 3 am with a glass of milk before you accidentally fall asleep in the wrong bed.

No one’s judging you.

No one.

* - Working title.