Dear PBS,

We, the undersigned, request that you stop showing Lawrence Welk and Guy Lombardo every Sunday afternoon. Have you considered airing some cooking shows? Or maybe a crafting program - the undersigned will watch people assemble quilt squares and explain the wonders of rag rugs for at least an hour. British costume drama? Or BBC comedies? The IT Crowd is really funny - how about that?

Sunday afternoon is prime ‘loafing around while watching a documentary about animals/space/some bomb tosser’ time. Yet, not moments ago, we were driven away from your publicly-funded bosom by pancake-makeup’d weirdos performing “A Tribute to Dixie” while wearing read polyester.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

Sincerely Yours,